FEATURED DEFINITION
Greek Sex

Greek Sex is anal sex. It’s a classier way to tell someone that you want to have anal sex to use the phrase “Greek sex”. Consider the difference:

A. I want to plow your asshole until my cock is covered with your shit.

B. I would like to have Greek sex tonight, sweet love.

If your lady or gay guy is into dirty talking, then feel free to use option A. Otherwise, you’ll get a far more agreeable reaction using option B.

The reason why anal sex is referred to as Greek sex is because back in the olden days Greek men loved having sex with each other. They’d have wives to have families with, of course. But they’d have close friendships with other Greek men. They’d respect each other and discuss things and then fuck each other. Some people think that the Spartans fought so hard because they were fighting with men they had been balls deep in the night before. The Greeks also loved having sex with young boys. Reminds me of the old joke:

How do you separate the men from the boys in Greece?

  • With a crowbar.

Pretty funny.

When I first saw a Greek salad, I wondered if the reason they called it that was because the black olives looked like little poops, and the feta looked like the santorum that comes out during Greek sex. I found out later that one thing had nothing to do with the other.

I personally love having Greek sex with women. It can get messy, but it’s worth it. Once I’ve been anal fucking a woman doggy style for a while, and their asshole is used to the feeling, my favorite move is to pull my cock out all the way, and then stick it in balls deep. I do it again and again, pulling completely out and going balls deep, until their asshole gapes open on its own. Then I step back, and see how far into her colon I can see. It’s interesting to me, but then I’ve always loved biology.

As much as I love giving Greek sex to a woman, I’m told it’s even better for a man to receive Greek sex. Guys have the prostate gland in their assholes that gets stimulated during Greek sex. A few women I’ve dated have had strap-on gear in their bag of tricks, but I always declined their invitations for pegging. The problem was that all the dildos that attached to the strap-ons were huge. I’d need to be started off with something a little more slender.

And that’s really the secret to Greek sex. Incremental work. If your lady is an ass virgin, don’t start her off with your dick. Use one finger. Then two. Build her up until she can take your man meat. If you start her off with something too big, she ain’t gonna want to do it anymore. Think long term, buddy.

1. Bert loves giving Greek Sex.

2, Ernie loves receiving Greek Sex.

RELATED TERMS:

Anal Sex

Santorum