FEATURED DEFINITION
Lactaphilia

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Lactaphilia is the term designated for a fetish that involves getting sexually aroused by lactating breasts and breast milk. This fetish is usually reserved for men, and the involvement of the breast milk in the execution of the fetish can vary from person to person. It could involve rubbing the breast milk around your own nipples, using it as lube, dipping your testicles into a bowl of warm breast milk (combining the fetish with the fetish for ball-dipping in liquid, known as liquidophilia), or it could simply be used to spread over each other’s bodies during intercourse. The most common use of breast milk for Lactaphiliacs, however, is drinking or consuming the breast milk. Now, it is important to note that in many different countries and many different cultures, it is completely acceptable to drink breast milk as an adult. In fact, in African countries, they claim that breast milk is full of nutrients, anti-oxidants, and proteins that we cannot find in regular milk, and that breast milk should be a regular part of everyone’s diet.

Now, that’s all well and good, but the placenta has tons of nutrients and proteins too, but you don’t see gym rats grinding up the afterbirth into their protein shakes and smoothies, do you? The real truth of the matter is that drinking breast milk is gross. I was fed formula and I was delivered by a C-section, and I am completely healthy (Then again, I do write porn definitions for a living, and I’ve been into infantilism for years).

Now, I am not one to judge another person’s sexual tendencies, so I will keep the rest of my opinion regarding breast milk drinking to myself. After all, this is a North American website, a place where donkeys can rape children and taxi drivers can shoot the left toe off their right foot while they watch two midgets make out in the back seat, WITHOUT paying fare. Anything goes here, and that includes lactaphilia.

In fact, there are numerous celebrities who are into Lactaphilia. Eminem is probably the most famous lactaphiliac, reportedly consuming up to 4 liters of breast milk each time he masturbates, and up to 6 liters every time he has sex. When asked if his crippling Mommy issues and poor childhood had an influence on his particular sexual fetish, he replied by punching the reporter in the face and slamming his baby bottle against the trailer, using the broken half as a knife to the reporter’s throat as he threatened to kill him. In a surprise twist, the reporter had some breast milk get splashed into his mouth during the confrontation, and got an instant, massive erection on the spot. Keeping in sync with his homophobic tendencies, Eminem shot and killed the reporter. When fellow reporters asked the police why Eminem was never charged, they replied, “C’mon. No jury in America is going to believe that a white rapper was actually badass enough to kill someone.”

Of course, Lactaphilia doesn’t always lead to murder and racial biases from the law. Sometimes, it just gives guys an erection, and that’s ok with me.

1. If Sarah had known her husband was into Lactaphilia, she wouldn’t have stocked so many bottles in the freezer.

2. Leanne usually gets pregnant on purpose every year or two so she can pick up men who are into Lactaphilia. As soon as she delivers, she gives the baby up for adoption and puts an ad out on craigslist.

RELATED TERMS:

Breasts

Paraphilia